Egotistical Prairie Dogs
by ThE fRoGs In YoUr PaNtS
Summary: What do ballet, jazz, lyrical, tap, hiphop, and the tango have to do with the Naruto characters? Absolutely nothing! That is, until now...DANCE, YOU FOOLS! Pairings unknown...to you at least. Ha ha. We rule. Title will make sense...eventually kinda sorta.
1. Introduction

This is gonna be a short intro chapter, so don't go thinking that they're all gonna be this pathetically small.

Disclaimer: We at ThE fRoGs In YoUr PaNtS organization do not own Naruto or any of the songs used in this fic. However, we have certain characters locked in our closet – I mean, um…certain…baloney…inourpocketsgoodbye!

_**Thetotallyawesomedividinglineyouknowyouwantonelikeitcausedividinglinesrock**_

-A pitch dark room is visible-

Mysterious Announcer Guy Voice Thing: And now…

-spotlights start roving and drumroll begins-

MAGVT: For the indescribable, irrepressible, unstoppable, coughidioticcoughcough, unspeakable, uncontainable, irresponsible, unimaginable…No, wait – stop, what are you doing? Get away from – Gaaaahhkk!

"…"

Female voice: Please hold while we recruit a new announcer, as SOMEONE got impatient –coughTentencough- Er…

Second female voice: Shut up, they'll hear you! Um…SHINO GET OVER HERE!

First voice: -- They'll hear _me?_

Second voice: Er…just ignore the two females behind the curtain...wait, why the heck is there a curtain here? We're in a –

First voice: DON'T TELL THEM!

Second voice: Shino, is that you?

Shino: ...

First voice: Duh, can't you hear the "dot-dot-dot?"

Second voice: Oh, yeah…SHINO I LOVE YOU!

Shino: -sweatdrop- So why am I here?

Second voice: We need a new announcer.

Shino: … Why me?

Both: …

First voice: I have no idea.

Second voice: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!

Shino: -starts backing away- Uh…okay…here's the fRoG sisters.

-curtain goes up to reveal a dance studio and two girls standing in the center. One, the first voice, has dark blonde hair down to her mid-back in a simple ponytail and the other has shoulder-length light brown hair in pigtails. They both have hazel eyes and are wearing dance leotards with shorts and camis over them.

Second voice: HI! I'M HARP! AND YOU'RE ALL HOT! –points to various Naruto males, who just happen to be here, sort of hiding in the corner behind the females-

First voice: And I'm Twilight, or Twi and… -notices Lee- LEE!

Lee: TWI!

Twi: LEE!

Lee: TWI!

Twi: LEE!

Lee: TWI!

Temari: SHUT UP!!!

Twi: Er…right…-notices Gaara, but is forced back by Harp before Gaara gets glomped-

Harp: This is lasting _way_ too long. This was supposed to be an _author's note_, peoples!

Twi: Oh…right…Then lets get on with this!

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Harp surveyed the collection of ninjas looking quite paranoid in the corner. She smiled goofily, threw her arms in the air, and shouted, "You guys have all been signed up for a dance class!" Absolute silence. Raised eyebrows (Well, except in Gaara's case because of his lack thereof). Nervous laughter from the girls. An explosion kills ten people in the building next door. Harp looked from right to left, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"I _swear_ I didn't do that. I have witnesses, right?"

Twi slapped her forehead.

"Not again…"

Sasuke, being the intellectual person he is, decided that then was a good time to ask what the heck was going on.  
"What the heck is going on?"

Twi ran a hand nervously along her ponytail. "Eh heh…well, you see, the thing is, Tsunade…um…well…uh…OROCHIMARU MADE US DO IT! See, he's paying our rent…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Screams from the injured in the next building rip through the air.

"…"

Harp glared at them all. "WE CAN HEAR YOUR DOT-DOT-DOTS, YOU KNOW!"

Twi continued, "Yeah, don't ask how we got around to letting him pay our rent. You're lucky, you know. Orochimaru wanted to take the class, too. He was particularly interested in ballet…Also, you should know that your senseis are very easily persuaded. All we had to do was tell Gai that it was youthful, tell Kurenai and Asuma that it would be good for your balance and control (and tick you all off), and let Kakashi know how…intimate the tango is. As for the Sand Sibs…I honestly have no idea why you're here."

"And just so you don't leave," added Harp menacingly, "Furby is watching you. Always. Watching." Horror music suddenly began to play, as a flash of lightning appeared behind her.

"And what if we refuse?" asked an extremely ticked Neji. "It's not like that…_toy_ is going to scare us." Furby's eyes flashed red. At that precise moment, a random person ran across the room with their head on fire.

"And that's your answer!" Twi chirped.

"Okay!" yelled Harp. "ONWARD!"


	2. Chaos!

**Disclaimer: We no own Naruto, or movie called "Take the Lead" or "Avatar: The Last Airbender." But own cool caveman voices.**

_**Thetotallyawesomedividinglineyouknowyouwantonelikeitcausedividinglinesrock**_

Chaos reigned in the studio. Naruto was loudly protesting, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino were squealing (Sakura and Ino with joy, Hinata with terror), Temari and Tenten were radiating loud auras of death, Shikamaru was moaning about it being troublesome, Lee was screaming about how youthful it was, Kiba was shouting at Lee to shut up, the two emo prodigy boys were fuming in the corner (Hmm, I wonder who _they_ could be), Gaara and Kankuro were playing rock-paper-scissors in the other corner (don't ask me why), Shino was still dot-dot-dotting, and Chouji…was eating chips. Yeah. What else does he ever do?

Meanwhile, Harp and Twi were singing "Move Along" at the top of their lungs to the radio. Suddenly, Twi stopped.

"Wait…aren't we supposed to be teaching them or something?"

"Oh, yeah…"

The sisters surveyed the chaos surrounding them.

"We need to get their attention somehow…"

"Yeah…but how?"

A lightbulb appeared above Twi's head, as Harp stared.

"Does…that happen a lot?"

"Sorta."

"…"

"Anyway, I know what to do." Twi ran into the storage closet and came out with a cow. That's right. A cow. Bow down before our cow-in-the-supply-closet logic. Harp grinned mischievously. She coaxed the cow to the center of the room, muttering, "Come on, old Bessie, come on. We need a big one." Bessie took a deep breath, got herself ready, and…

"MOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (Ha. I bet about half of you thought she was going to…ah….pass wind. You sick minded people.)

Everyone stopped…er…chaos-ing and looked at the cow. Then looked at Harp. Then back at the cow.

"…"  
Harp covered her ears with her hands. "THOSE DOT-DOT-DOTS HURT MY EARS! YOU'RE SO LOUD!"

Taking advantage of the shock, Twi pulled a blackboard out of her magic shoe. Yeah, that's right. We said magic shoe. What'cha gonna do about it?

Sasuke, being the intellectual person that he is, realized that there was a cow in the room. And that's not normal.

"Where did you get the cow?" Bessie had begun to lumber out of the room, stopping to try to eat Shikamaru's hair.

"Er…" Twi stuttered, "Never mind about that." She watched as Harp began to chase Bessie down and herd her back in the supply closet. "Just focus on the blackboard. This will be your first class…" She then wrote BALLET on said blackboard.

Naruto cocked his head. "Ball-et?"

"No, it's ball-_ay_. Not ball-_et._"

"But you wrote ball-et."

"But it's pronounced ball-ay."

"But you wrote ball-et."

"It's French. In French "et" sounds like "ay."

"…"

"…"

Harp screamed in pain and clutched her ears again.

"But you wrote ball-et."

"SHADDUP! It's ball-ay, deal with it! Understand?" Silence descended on the room. "SHADDUP, NEJI!" Twi shouted for no obvious reason.

Neji blinked, looking somewhat bewildered.

Harp looked at Neji. "OMIGAWRSH THAT IS THE CUTEST LOOK EVA!!!!" She ran over and glomped him, then proceeded to play with his hair. Tenten glared at her. Harp snarled. Tenten's glare did not falter. Harp started to bark. Tenten looked at her with the what-the-heck look. Kiba looked at the barking girl. _'That's kinda hot...'_

Meanwhile, Twi was deep in an argument with Sasuke.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with chocolate sauce and sprinkles and caramel and almonds and a cherry and more ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles and caramel and almonds and a cherry and more ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles and caramel and almonds and a cherry and more ice cream and some frog legs on top?"

"No. Wait, what?"

"Please?"

"NO! I am not _dancing_, it's a completely idiotic waste of time that could be spent training!"

Neji "hn"ed in agreement. (Yes, "hn"ed is officially a word now).

"…"

"OWWW! STOP THAT!!!" Harp screamed.

"…"

"OKAY, THAT'S IT!" At that point, Harp brought a whip out of the magic shoe and began smashing things with it, flames in her eyes. Everyone looked slightly terrified, except for Lee.

"Harp! Your eyes are flaming with YOUTH!" he shouted exuberantly. Harp sent him a glare that would make a lion quiver. Lee…decided that now was not the time.

Twi sighed in relief as her sister calmed down, and turned back to Sasuke.

"Please?"

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The sisters surveyed the once-again chaotic room with their arms crossed in front of their chests.

"Fine," fumed Harp, "We'll just have to show you how awesome dance is – especially the tango," she added, her voice filled with excitement.

Twi nodded and walked solemnly to the magic shoe, changed her mind, and instead made her way towards the supply closet, muttering something about it being unhealthy keeping actors in her shoe.

Sakura blinked. "Actors…?"

"Yup." She began rummaging through the supply closet. The sounds of cats, pigs, and other assorted animals were audible as soon as she opened the door – along as something that sounded suspiciously like the voices of Zuko and Sokka from "Avatar: The Last Airbender." Harp was filing her nails, knowing what was coming next.

Twi, still rummaging through the closet, slapped away at the bony hand reaching for her ankle. "Oh! Here they are!" she squealed, bringing out Antonio Banderas and the rude hot blonde chick he dances with near the beginning of "Take The Lead".

Twi turned to all the ninjas who were staring at her and the actors. "Okay! Antonio and this blonde chick are going to demonstrate the tango for you, just like they did for the kids in the movie." Antonio and the blonde chick -

"Wait, wait, wait..." Twi waved her hands. "I just realized that we should have a name for her besides 'the blonde chick.' Any suggestions?"

"PENELOPE!" Harp screamed at the top of her lungs.

"O…kay. Penelope it is. Please continue."

Antonio and Penelope, not seeming too surprised about suddenly being yanked out of a supply closet, began to do the tango routine they did in the movie. If you haven't seen said movie, then know this: It is SEXY. Enough said.

By the end of the dance, Kiba, Naruto, and Kankuro were _drooling._ All of the girls were impressed, Lee was jumping up and down, Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, and Shikamaru were drooling in their heads (it is possible, dang it! I mean come on, no one is _immune_ to this), and Chouji…was eating chips.

Antonio then began to give the same speech he gave in the movie that went something like, "How many of you men would like to hold a woman that closely and passionately? How many of you women would like to have your man on a string like that?" to various levels of enthusiasm. Afterwards, he and Penelope walked towards the supply closet. Twi slipped him twenty bucks.

_**Thetotallyawesomedividinglineyouknowyouwantonelikeitcausedividinglinesrock**_

**Okay! Reviews are appreciated. Have you ever looked at your stories and noticed that only, like, one-twentieth or less of the people who read them submitted a review? It's frustrating! So yeah. Rant over. Have a nice day!**


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